TRY IT, YOU'LL LIKE IT
By DOUGLAS BLAIR TURNBAUGH

Douglas Blair Turnbaugh
Female Condom, 2007
Ink & pencil on paper
3.5 x 8"

Response from my faithful readers to my art photograph “Female Condom” in The Archive No. 20 (and indeed almost everyone I have queried on the subject) has lead me to believe that I seem to be one of a dozen or so men in America who know of this simple life-saving, sex-enhancing device. The product has been better promoted in Mongolia.

Perhaps words can tell more than a picture. So I want to tell you that the company (www.womenshealth.com) that holds the patents and produces these lifesavers is vagina-centric and does not acknowledge its use in anal sex. Through their Female Health Foundation, a tax-exempt 501 (c) 3 (just like LLGAF), they focus on women’s health and reproductive rights as an evasion to avoid the issues of homophobia, sexism and political prudence reflected in their marketing position. This should disqualify them from tax-exempt status. Equal rights for anal sex!

To comprehend my photo, you need to know the unseen. The female condom (FC) is longer and wider than a male condom (MC). Made of strong, thin polyurethane, it is held in place by two flexible rings, one inside the condom and the other at its open end. In my photo you can only see the outside ring. To use the FC, twist the inside ring into an 8 shape, and insert it through the anus into the rectum, where released it will open up to its circular shape, thus preventing it from being pulled out during intercourse. The outer ring, outside the body but now up against the buttocks, will prevent the FC from being pushed in. Once the condom is inserted, the anus will close over it, leaving the outer ring looking rather like the bull’s eye of a target. As the intruding virile member, or whatever, does its business, in out in out in out, the condom stays in place. Wasn’t that easy? (The used FC is easy to pull out, but doesn’t need to be removed immediately.)

Surely anal sex lost much of its erotic power after AIDS struck. Many men were unable to maintain the stiff erection necessary to roll the MC on (emotionally like suiting up to enter a potential death trap). This emotional problem is avoided with the FC because it can be put in place at any time prior to intercourse, without a penis.

Other problems with the MC are resolved by the FC, as 1) “he won’t wear a condom,” 2) no condom available when passion struck, 3) stopping erotic play to put on a condom interrupted spontaneity, 4) a water-based lubricant was required (FCs are prelubricated but any lube will do), 5) penis condoms too loose or too small or too constricting, 6) fear that friction might pull the penis condom off, 7) a penis sheathed in whatever reduces sensitivity and sense of touch for both partners (FCs are thin and conduct heat so both partners feel the sense of intimate touch).

As for gay visual culture, gay eroticism relies heavily on the images for provocation, see thousands of porn films and Tom of Finland’s boots, bikes and massive cocks, but the penis condom, despite some efforts by the industry (colored, flavored, textured condoms), have utterly failed to sell it as a woodie-maker. Hence Viagra et al. In our phallocracy it
is the virile member, naked in its splendid tumescence, that charges the visual force that zips the testosterone to boiling point. Freedom at last is in your hands!

Hello: by using an anal condom the hateful climate of fear promoted by AIDS (and homophobes) can be banished and a sense of security, emotional comfort and control can give us back the joy of anal sex.

Spot check: Mongolia. Commercial sex workers (sex unspecified) are “relatively well-informed about FCs,” and use them about half as often as MCs. Cost in Mongolia: $0.27. Stock up while you’re there. Who else would tell you these things?

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Douglas Blair Turnbaugh author, filmmaker, and artist is a frequent contributor to The Archive.