Sal Monetti. Quentin Crisp -- 
I'm Still Living, 1997.
Graphite on illustration board, 8-1/2" x 11."

You regularly attend openings at LLGAF; do you ever look at the art?
I sometimes look at the pictures. But who looks at the pictures. I am there at the opening and at an opening, as you know, nobody looks at the pictures. Everyone stands near the pictures: they are there to be seen. And that is the key to my life: I have been all over America, but I am not a traveler, I don’t go places to see, I go to be seen.

What do think of homoerotic art?
I don’t take homoerotic art seriously because it is borne into the point of comedy. I don’t really understand any art. What is the point of painting something that you can see in real life. (Viewing a recent work by W. Snellen, Quentin comments, “Wouldn’t it be better to see the real thing — wouldn’t that be more erotic? Why do you need to paint?”)

What about the fact that an artist can render someone from a different point of view/paint someone in a way that only he sees him?
Well yes, that makes it more acceptable, when an artist imposes his own ideas upon nature.

And why do you agree to model if you don’t see any reason to paint?
Because I was asked to. Modesty is all the rage. Never contradict anybody. See, I am an Englishman, and I am allowed to live in America, and I ask what can I give in return. So I do not refuse anything: I don’t refuse to model or be photographed, this is my way of expressing my gratitude.

Quentin Crisp on America…
During my lengthy conversation with Quentin, it was clear that he had great appreciation and admiration for America. In fact, he spoke more about that point than any other topic we discussed.

Sitting here, listening to you speak about America, I feel that it is your greatest love. Tell me about that.
I have always been American in my heart, ever since my mother took me to the movies. I began to quiver and twitch at the sight of New York on the screen. And when I came to New York City, I thought, it’s more like the movies than you could ever dream.

New York policemen ask me how I am doing. No English policeman would ever ask you that. In fact, the first duty of an English Policeman is never to seem like a human being: they never eat; they never drink; and they never, never laugh!

Everywhere you go in America you are welcome. It’s so wonderful. I understand why this is — I have pondered this in my heart. England was a small country full of people. And people came from above and said these are the gardens and these are the things you will grow: now go and do it! It was a very masculine attitude. America is a huge place with nobody in it. And the people came from below and they hung onto Mr. Ellis and if they were offered work they said, “I will do it, because anything was better than Europe.” And that gives Americans their wish to please. It’s their characteristic.

And that was something you were drawn to?
Yes. You see, people are my only pastime. I don’t contemplate the universe. I am here to be spoken to.

I try to radiate availability. People in America tell you the story of their lives while waiting at a traffic light.

Quentin Crisp on language and music…
Is conversation your greatest pleasure?
Yes. I like friends — but I am mad about strangers. And I suppose it is because that being of limited mentality myself, I say the same things over and over again so I need a large constantly changing audience, or else somebody will say, “Yes we heard that!” So I like America because it is full of people all willing to listen and speak. I don’t know what it is I do with words, which distinguishes the way I converse with people. I went to a meeting with several women and a few days later I received a charming letter from my hostess thanking me for going to the meeting. And in the letter she said, “I never conversed before with anyone that spoke whole sentences.” You see, often Americans don’t speak in whole sentences. But I do know that I speak differently than other people. And I know that I talk for talking’s sake.

What is different about other people — regarding the way they speak?
That, of course, is due to the music. There was no music when I was young. The world was silent. In some restaurants you can’t hear what the waitress says. You can’t hear them speak. It’s the music. Everywhere there is music. It’s weird. The young have no inner lives. And they have no inner life because they have no thoughts. And they have no thoughts because they know no words. And they have no words because they never speak. And they never speak because the music is too loud.

Is the music replacing language?
Yes. I never understood it — the interest in music.

Quentin Crisp on gay life…
I read somewhere that you said gay life is a wasted life or something to that effect.
I probably said, “gay people are standing on the banks watching other people swim.” You see, gay people do not have ambition.

Explain that?
Oh, they listen to the music and dream that they have a wonderful life. And dream they are worshipped.

Well, is that all gay people?
Yes.

And couldn’t straight people have the same fantasy?
Yes, but it could happen. A woman could be worshipped by a lot of handsome men. Get diamonds and all that stuff. And so for her it is real, she has ambition. She wants to go with people who are handsome and rich. But when you are queer you can only be despised.

But you said in America you are accepted. And people like you — you are not despised.
That’s right. But that’s because I am famous. Although I do not know why. I could never tell anyone what it is I do that makes me famous. I presume it is because I am a man who wears makeup.

But you had ambition — you challenged the system in your early years?
In America I am regarded as a national hero — but really I was a hopeless case. I could never have disguise myself for who I was.

You seem to believe in individuality, but you make gay men a collective — as if they are not individuals.
They did that. They’re all in tractor boots and jeans. They’re all the same. Individuality is gone.

But not everybody is like that — most are not. There are a lot of gay men not involved in “gay culture.”
But we don’t hear about them. So we can only discuss the one’s we know about and they’re all the same.

Do you believe in homosexual love?
No. I don’t know about falling in love. I don’t understand what it is to fall in love. I understand love, which is the extra effort we put in our dealings with people we do not like. So it is to the unlovable that we owe our extra attention, extra effort. They must be our first concern.

But that’s different than romantic love.
All this business of being in love, I do not know.

What is your view of homosexuality?
It is a mistake, but it can’t be changed. What my parents thought I can’t imagine. The only reason to bother to know anybody is because they can be hoodwinked into accepting your monstrous view of yourself.

An English journalist phoned me and asked if hypothetically there was a gay gene and if still more hypothetically it was detectable in the womb, would the woman be justified in aborting the fetus? I said yes. What would they think I would say. My life story begins with the words: “As soon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized I had make a mistake.” They thought I wouldn’t say that. I said it because I meant it. I am not punishing gay people — I am rewarding them: they don’t have to live.

But they want to live. A lot of gay people love their lives.
But how can you want to live when you have such a horrible life?

You are judging everyone’s life from your own perspective and your experience — what about the other people’s experience?
Well, I can’t imagine having a wonderful life.

Quentin Crisp on life and death…
You said you were always fascinated by death, as long as it was somebody else’s. However, you now say that you think about your own.. Is that correct?
That’s right.I now have to have a significant death because I don’t want people saying, “Isn’t he dead?” I want them to know I am dead!

Did you enjoy any part of your life?
I do enjoy life in America.

Only the American years?
Yes. The English say of Americans they are childishly trusting. And the English consider themselves suspicious and that is part of their sophistication. I prefer the openness of America.

In America, they really like you. Everything sacred in America is regarded with contempt in England.

In England, I was accepted by the gay people and rejected by the world. Here — I am accepted by the world and rejected by the gay people.

What about the early years?
My mother tried to shield me. She was in a panic: It was not my sin (referring to his homosexuality); it was my unemployability. So when I got out in the world I wrote books and illustrated books and I modeled. I had no other ability. It’s amazing I survived. I use to think I am not long for this world and here I am: still here. I am now in my 90th year. It’s time to die. Death is so hard to come by though — that’s because I am a sissy, I am afraid to throw myself in front of a car.

Have you thought of suicide?
Yes, throughout my life. Even when I was in school, which I hated. But I seemed to never bring it off because I was afraid I would get hurt — I am a sissy.

I have been in touch with the Hemlock Society. I was sent books telling me what to do — but they were so complicated.

Are you an atheist?
If God is the universe — which encloses the universe, or if God is the cell inside the cell, or if God is the cause behind the cause — that I can believe — I can not believe in a God susceptible to prayer — that’s a lot of rubbish. This is nonsense. I would never teach a child to pray. I would tell them your fate is sealed.

Is death final?
Well, I hope so. Eternal life is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

What would have been a better life for you?
I would be different. I would be a woman.

What would be different?
Now I am only manly in that I have no emotion, otherwise I’m feminine. If I had been a woman, I would have been acceptable.

Editor’s note: I listened to Quentin for several hours talking about the subjects noted in this interview. I was constantly aware of the extreme negativity that permeates most of his views. I even considered nixing this article, believing it may only insult the gay sensibilities of our readers. But I chose not to do that. Instead I wanted to reflect on the importance of this interview in terms of its significance in understanding homosexual oppression — and it is this struggle against homosexual oppression that is a basic tenet of the Foundation.

Listening to Quentin, I reflected on an essay written by Ayn Rand, entitled “The Comprachicos.” The purpose of the essay was to explain the damage that is done to children’s minds when they are very young and have no control over choice. To demonstrate the idea, Rand compared the education of children to the extreme case of the comprachicos. Rand writes:

The comprachicos traded in children. They bought them and sold them — And what did they make of these children? Monsters. Why monsters? To laugh. The people need laughter. Cities require side - show freaks or clowns. To succeed in producing a freak, one must get hold of him early. A dwarf must be started when he is small .They took a man and turned him into a miscarriage; they took a face and made a muzzle. They stunted growth; they mangled features. The practice of degrading man leads one to the practice of deforming him. Deformity completes the task of political suppression.

The comprachicos had a talent, to disfigure. To mask you forever by means of your own face, nothing can be more ingenious.

I could not help but see that the context under which Quentin Crisp was born and lived was comparable to the rule of the comprachicos: the making of monsters of gay people. Quentin Crisp grew up in the early 1900s in England and he was despised. For him, society was the comprachicos. From the day of his birth, Quentin learned self-hatred: it was what he learned as a young gay child. Amazingly though, Quentin did not deny himself, for he became “The Naked Civil Servant.” But he was not able to overcome all the damage that he had been faced with. Quentin’s life teaches us that the right to exist and “the pursuit of happiness” is a constant battle and without that battle we become pawns in the hands of any comprachicos. Quentin Crisp is a gay icon. We need to understand that although he has damaged self-esteem, he did survive 90 years as a pioneer in gay liberation by not denying himself — he is effeminate and wears make-up — and he was doing that long before the Matachine Society began or the Stonewall riots occurred. Viewing his life from the “out of the closet” sensibility of 1998 may hamper our ability to objectively hear his views, but we need to understand those views within the context of 1910 England and how Quentin responded to the world. Part of our strength in comforting one another as we find a place in this world is to understand the individual pain that others may have in dealing with who they are and how the world effects them.